Regularly Scheduled Existential Despair


Last month I promised to start posting once a month. I’m already behind schedule, mostly because I’ve been delayed by my biannual identity crisis. September brought cooler weather and the unshakable compulsion to rethink all my life choices. What’s the point blogging mid-existential crisis? Is there a God? Should I blog? Maybe I should have. I can live-tweet it next time.

At least my identity crisis made sense this time. I mean, I just sent the girls back to school. I sort of felt like someone has been banging pots and pans with wooden spoons right next to my head for three months (my kids are loud). September 6th, I dropped them off and mentally I was like, “Go time, Sam. Save the cheerleader, save the world!” but in reality,  my ears were still ringing and I was even more disoriented than usual. Who am I? What is my purpose on earth? How can I contribute to the family income, be there 100% for my kids, and write another book? Also, I should potty train the two-year-old. Questions without answers, obviously. (I’m classifying potty training as an unanswered question, fyi.) It’s so important to avoid thinking about these things. You gotta keep your eyes fixed forward, make dinner, and try not to eat too many handfuls of chocolate chips.

In my confusion, I spent a couple of weeks writing a paranormal YA mystery. That was a new take on an identity crisis for me. Or not. I forget the last crises. Now, I’ve come back to my senses. This weekend, I’m starting a rom-com. Obviously, that is the most sensible thing to do, at least in my weird little slice of reality. Gotta build my author brand and I have two rom-coms coming out this year, assuming everything goes as planned.

Of course, nothing will go as planned. The books will probably come out in 2020 and I won’t even remember what they’re about. But here goes nothing. I’m writing a rom-com. I don’t expect any other major existential despair until I finish it and wonder why the hell I wrote a romantic comedy. My life is Groundhog Day. That’s life, though–every morning you wake up and you can either do a little good work and be a nice person or take a groundhog over a cliff Thelma & Louise style. I’m going to do my best to not kill any groundhogs. If that last paragraph didn’t make sense to you, rent Groundhog Day and get a pizza this weekend. You’ll have fun.

Happy almost October everyone!

Until next time,

Sam

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