The Cable Guy So Gets Me

Nov 14, 2015 SamBohrman sweet category , No comments

That’s the statement of a housebound woman. But, moving onto my story…

The cable internet guy arrived as we were about to leave this morning. He first came into the  living room, which was an explosion of child paraphernalia and children using furniture like a jungle gym. It was like that scene from Home Alone when twelve people are trying to leave for Paris, except I just had to drop two kids off at school. I think it’s worth mentioning that the guy had already waited on the stoop with my compost bin, which is currently filled with coffee grounds, a pumpkin, and five gallons of rain water; a.k.a., a pumpkin floating in a giant bucket of cold coffee. He didn’t mention it. I feel better about my home when I think of it as the Weasly’s place.

The cable guy asked a question I didn’t understand regarding our half-assed router set-up, so I brought him to my husband who was foraging for socks in a loose pile of laundry in his boxers. I kept trying to explain to my husband that the cable guy was here and had a question, but he was too focused on socks to look up. Finally, I said quite loudly, “The cable guy is in the room with us.” That’s when Harley noticed he was half naked and standing next to the cable guy.

In that moment, I felt one with the cable guy. I was like, “Dude, do you see what I’m dealing with here?” and he was like, “Whoa, this is some crazy shit.” Maybe I read too much into that glance, but it was a moment. Thanks for that, cable guy.

In other news, I inherited a rusty metal box. See picture below (slightly obscured by applesauce on the lens). I half expected to find Gwyneth Paltrow’s head inside of it, but no, it is filled with documents from 1947. Basically, it’s all of the junk mail and fliers from my great grandfather’s kitchen circa 1947. His kitchen is now boxed up in my kitchen. Deep, huh? Actually, there is some dispute about who gets the box. That’s what happens when there’s nothing to fight over—you fight over nothing. Which takes me back to the living room and the kids…

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