Category Archives: Uncategorized

Aug162017

I’m Back, Bitches!

My swoony, teen summer camp romance is coming your way!! It’s a little bit Wet Hot American Summer, except without all of the gross parts (because my editor made me take them out) and with a lot more romance (because my editor had me add that part in). It took me a couple of drafts to figure out that a romance can’t have that many poop jokes (current draft has zero) and the heroine should not wear Billy Bob teeth during important turning points in the story. I’m slow that way. Everyone say a prayer [...]
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Sep302016

Regularly Scheduled Existential Despair

Last month I promised to start posting once a month. I’m already behind schedule, mostly because I’ve been delayed by my biannual identity crisis. September brought cooler weather and the unshakable compulsion to rethink all my life choices. What’s the point blogging mid-existential crisis? Is there a God? Should I blog? Maybe I should have. I can live-tweet it next time. At least my identity crisis made sense this time. I mean, I just sent the girls back to school. I sort of felt like someone has [...]
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Aug312015

The Play House, An American Horror Story

I had a BBQ at my house yesterday. Some of my writer friends came over with their kids. The night kicked off when the swing set in my backyard half collapsed. Then, two kids went through some rotted boards in the playhouse. In an incident unrelated to the play house drama (a screaming/weight lifting contest mishap if you’re wondering) one child called her mother and insisted on immediate pick-up. She ran screaming from the home as soon as her parents pulled up (Hi Cristina!). Besides that it was fun. [...]
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Aug172015

Book Launch Hangover

I know that book release is supposed to be really fun, but truthfully I’ve been feeling a little despondent about the whole thing. A book launch involves a lot of self-promotion and sharing that doesn’t come naturally to me. In the midst of my online promotion frenzy, I took a quiz titled, “What should your hungover name be?” In response to Buzzfeed’s prompts, I said I’d prefer to puke in a KFC bucket, move into a cave, and watch Netflix. Buzzfeed spat out a paragraph-long description of my hungover [...]
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Aug92015

More Life Lessons From Disney

Last week I watched Beauty and the Beast with my two girls. I hadn’t seen it for quite some time. As a bookworm, Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie. Belle was the first heroine I could really relate to. Sure, all those other princesses were cute, but Belle had a brain. As a kid, I thought the movie was a breakthrough, a moment when Disney broke free from the standard stereotypes and created a unique and special female character. She read and she scorned the advances of the handsome, yet [...]
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Jul272015

Book Release Week

Book release week was weird. The morning Ruby came out I took the kids to Costco to buy groceries. They had a playdate in the afternoon so I stood around with some other moms and watched the kids do their thing. I made a fancy dinner—I already forget what. No one ate it. It’s probably still in a tupperware in the back of the fridge. In the real world, it was sort of like nothing happened. Meanwhile on the internet, people posted congratulations and “squees” and loaded confetti cannons. A lot of people [...]
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Jun292015

My Own Misadventures with Reality

On our trip to South Dakota we stayed in two roadside hotels. To see the kids’ reactions, you’d have thought I’d taken them to Disneyland and packed their suitcases with nothing but swimsuits and Skittles. At the hotel, the dog was the first to stray from the rules of polite society. Fanny jumped out of the car and started running. Because I can only juggle so many balls at a time, I just watched it happen. Then she ran into the hotel (automatic doors). With unbridled enthusiasm she proceeded to explore [...]
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Jun72015

To All My Sisters in Pajamas Out There

The book is out July 14th. This came as a surprise to me. A couple of weeks ago I asked my editor, “So when is my book coming out?” I expected her to say, “November” or “We changed our minds about that book, sorry.” Instead, it’s basically tomorrow, if you operate on dog time or kid time, which runs as fast if not faster than dog time. In my world, which runs on kid time, every time I blink three weeks have passed. For instance, last night we ate in the backyard. Silas, who is supposed to be the baby, [...]
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May252015

From One Abductee to Another

Ten posts into blogging and I came across a Tumblr that began, “Now that the blog is dead…” The writer wasn’t even trying to argue the point. She threw it out there as a cold hard fact. My friend George verified it. He works with computers so I believe him. He tweeted, “That’s why google got rid of the blog reader,” or whatever it’s called. I never used it. I hope the Tumblr chick and George are just being dramatic. George doesn’t strike me as dramatic, but that “blog is dead” phrase .. maybe she was [...]
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May32015

Oh My God, Another Birthday.

Harley, my husband, has a birthday on Wednesday. This sort of slipped my mind until I went to a birthday party last night, which turned out to be for him, at least partially. Shopping for him is a nightmare. Last year, I decided to let him pick out his own rain jacket because he likes shopping. Bad idea. REI only sells jackets that require chemical spray to remain waterproof, whereas he prefers an intrinsically waterproof garment. Same story at every other sports store in the metro, which we visited [...]
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